A Few Hints that may give you an idea of how to treat the parent of an Angel.....

One of the hardest things I have found to deal with since losing Bubbles is other people’s reactions.
Very few people know how to react around me as the death of a child is such an unexpected occurrence and one not many people like to talk about.
Some parents, following the loss of their child, including myself, find that it helps to talk about their child to enable them to accept what has happened. Unfortunately I have found that the opportunities to talk about Bubbles, with anyone other than family, are very few as too many people worry what to say or not to say for fear of upsetting me, instead of doing what seems more natural and that is just to listen. I feel I benefit so much more by just having someone listen to me rather than someone trying to change the subject completely, or the opposite and try to tell me how to feel better.
Losing your child has to be the hardest thing anyone has to go through, depending on the circumstances it can be a major trauma causing all sorts of effects. The biggest effect this has had on me is my total loss of self confidence. I think this stems from the fact that I feel I have failed my daughter as her mum because I could not protect her from the suffering she went through. I also feel some responsibility for my families suffering as I gave them all such hope of a healthy granddaughter/niece etc and when she was born they were all so happy and then shortly after it was all taken away from them. I know it sounds silly but I have to keep on reminding myself that it was not my fault. I guess we just all have to grieve and go through whatever processes we need to in order to get through each day, having the right kind of support however can make all the difference.

Please don’t try to avoid us just because we lost our baby. It is hard enough to deal with the loss without the loss of friends too. I can appreciate that finding “the right” things to say may be difficult, but I would rather you just be with me and say nothing than not be with me at all.

If you ask me how I am, please expect an answer other than "I am fine", if you don't  want me to answer honestly then please don't ask!

Sometimes if I need to cry I don't want you to make a fuss, I may not be crying because I am sad, I cry because I am happy too!

Please understand that  while I am dealing with all of these unknown emotions, I may have little patience and cry over what may seem like petty things. This does not mean I am having a break down, I just have no room left for any extra emotions right now and sometimes will just need 5 minutes on my own to let them spill over.

If you want to know anything about my daughter, about what happened or anything, please ask me.... I like to talk about my experiences. I am still a proud parent who loves nothing more than to boast about her beautiful little girl!

Sometimes when I am lonely, I may just want some company. Don't feel like you have to act differently around me, and don't worry if you don't know what to say, sometimes just to have you sit there with me is enough.

Phrases such as “get stuck into work and you will forget it” or “you can have other children” or “you should be over it by now” just do not help!!!

Please do not attempt to compare the loss of a child to any other loss, it is not the same as losing a parent or a friend, it is completely different on so many levels which you would only understand if you had been through it.

Please do not treat my grief as a problem which should be “left at home”. It is not possible to leave your grieving behind while you carry on “as normal” it is with you everywhere you go and everywhere you look and it is exhausting to carry, but I do not have a choice.

One last thing…. Just because my house may be untidy does not make me lazy, I have been busy nursing my broken heart.

Just have a little, patience  
I'm still hurting from a love I lost,
I'm feeling your frustration,
But any minute all the pain will stop,
Just hold me close inside your arms tonight,
dont be too hard on my emotions 

(Chorus)
Cause I, need time,
My heart is numb, has no feeling,
So while I'm still healing,
Just try and have a little patience,  
I really wanna start over again,
I know you wanna be my salvation,
The one that I can always depend,  
I'll try to be strong,
believe me,
I'm trying to move on,
It's complicated but understand me,  

Cause I, need time,
My heart is numb has no feeling,
So while I'm still healing,
Just try and have a little patience yeah,   
Have a little patience, Yeah  

Cause this scar runs so deep,
It's been hard, But I have to believe,  
Have a little patience,
Have a little patience,     

Cause I, I just need time,
My heart is numb has no feeling,
So while I'm still healing,
Just try, and have a little patience,  
Have a little patience,
My heart is numb has no feeling,
So while I'm still healing
Just try and have a little...
Patience

When I first heard this song I felt like I could connect with what they were saying, a few days later my sister sent me the lyrics, having no idea I had been listening to it so closely! Anyway, they make a lot of sense so I thought I would share it with you here!!